Concrete & Honey directed me to this fabulous blog, she left on a monday, the other day, and in particular, this insightful post that got me to thinking... rare, I know.
I realized that I feel this exact way about a lot of things. I am a loner at heart. Being newly (and happily) married hasn't changed that. My husband is a chef, and while I absolutely adore the time we spend together, I treasure my alone time. Is this horrible of me? I mean, it's not like I cannot wait to get him out of the house so I can lounge around and eat bon bons... that's definitely not the case. I always miss him when he's gone, but I guess what I'm trying to get at, is that I'm not the type of girl who can't spend a minute without her significant other and not know what to do with herself.
Some people I have known seem to feel the need to spend every waking hour with their significant other. While this isn't always a bad thing, I don't think it's necessarily a great thing either. I've also known people who have actually changed themselves in order to fit into the very circumscribed world that belongs to their significant other, while letting go of things that they liked, and liking things that they previously hated. I honestly don't understand this at all. It may just be me, but I find it a little sad. The beauty of relationships is that while yes, it's likely that you'll learn to like new things, which is never bad, staying true to yourself and your interests is important. I don't know if it's ever worth amputating your soul for anyone (I think I may have hijacked this quote from a movie... Oh yes, I did... Scent of a Woman). Which brings me back to my original point...
Typically, I get anxious when I'm around large groups of people. Bars, parties, mosh pits... generally not my scene, unless you want to carry me out because I've inevitably fainted from hyperventilation. It always makes me feel lonely to be out with so many people that I have little in common with. This is why I'd much rather go out to dinner with a few close friends than hit up the bar scene and party like it's 1999. Some people think that it's weird that I'd rather be at home, watching You've Got Mail, or Silence of the Lambs, than out and about with a large group of people, but quite honestly, I'm quite content when I'm by myself, in the [sometimes] quiet solitude of my own thoughts.
I guess that I always knew that I was different than most people, but it makes me feel a little bit better knowing that someone else feels the same way....
