* if anyone can tell me which movie I quoted in my post title, then I will give you a notecard from my shop... or just major kudos... *
Last night, while on our way to Target, a bully in a mini-van tailgated us the whole way there, then almost rear-ended us in the parking lot, multiple times. I was so amped-up by this douche, that as soon as we parked our car, I fast-walked my way to the door just so I got there before him. Magically, as I yanked my shopping cart out of its snug resting spot with the gusto of an angsty teenager, an idea popped into my head; the kind of idea that only comes around once in a very great while, and clearly not when you're in the mood to act your age...
I tailgated him through the whole store with my cart.
We were in need of dish soap and toilet paper and he was clearly going to the extension cord aisle, but it didn't matter. It was on, like Donkey Kong. As I madly dashed behind him, nearly clipping his Achilles' heels with every step, I had to muffle my childish giggles in my scarf, while James followed at a safe distance behind us both. I couldn't have been more than two feet behind him, and could see his discomfort increasing. We weaved through the card aisle, down by the woven baskets, and finally, as we approached the diaper aisle, he turned sharply and I couldn't maneuver my cart without hitting a store clerk. I had to give up, or die laughing. I chose the former. Although I succumbed to this small defeat, he was clearly sketched out by my actions, as I could tell by his frequent peripheral glances. You won this time, Mini-(Van)-Douche!
* A side note: the mini-douche was in such a rush to pull into the Target parking lot that he nearly hit us, yet he left the store at the same time we did, with nothing in his hands. It figures, right?